Sunday...you fiend!

Recipe for perfect way to start your day:

Step 1: Wake up with severe pain in lower back, hips, and groin from sitting on floor for 3 hours the previous night. You might ask, "Why does your body hurt so much from sitting on the ground, you stupid old man?" Well, I guess my answer to that would be, "Be quiet or I'll destroy everything you love." Got anything else to say? Didn't think so.

Step 2: Try to start car, but realize car is broken. This step will take a little preparation (mainly finding a car that is broken). But I think you'll find if you put in the work, this one's really rewarding. There's nothing like getting behind the wheel of your vehicle excited about the freedom and utility it offers...only to find out your engine sounds like an autistic kitten.

Step 3: Cry.

That's all you need to have a great day. Three easy steps. So get out there and enjoy life!