Mike & Jess' Xtreme times in Xtreme, I mean, Berkshire County.... to the MAX.
While the rest of you skitsos are wallowing in your loneliness, mike & i have been having a BLAST. in Berkshire County, if you want to hang out outside of your house, you have a limited number of options. you can a) go to the movies b) eat at a restaurant c) go bowling d) go to the mall e) go to the grocery store or f) drive around (usually accompanied by smoking). now, i know you're thinking, but jess, can't you go to the bars? and you're right, i could go to a bar. BUT WAIT mike's not 21 yet. yeah. stopped you right in your tracks.
option b) we went to eat Chinese food at mike's favorite Chinese restaurant. mike "accidently" ordered enough food for sixteen footballers and it came on one of the trays with the fire! also, mike gave me his car for christmas so now when we drive back and forth to school, i'll be behind the wheel and he'll be riding shoddy.
option a) we went to a small movie theater with limited options and ended up in Syriana- big mistake. dont do it. it's hours and hours of unending boredom and a small child dies. trust me, i emerged with naught but a sore ass and a desire to strangle mike.
option d) we went on a roadtrip to the holyoke mall, a 45 minute drive away. this is when things start to get really Xtreme. let me just note that while mike did not want to use the mall map to find our stores of choice, it only took me 30 seconds in front of the damn thing to find everything we ever wanted to know.
first, we ate at pizzeria uno. inside this fine establishment is a bathroom treasure. they are the proud owners of not just an air hand-dryer, but the ultimate hand-dryer. it's a little beaut called the XTREME and there's even a tiny sticker requesting the user to "FEEL THE POWER". well, i've felt the power and it almost blew my rings right off- i suggest you try it.
we ventured into the local barnes & noble (it has an escalator!!!) and meandered around the books about nude women and art slash erotica. mike bought a calendar of XTREME Ironists from around the world and i got one about italy (booooooring). seriously, guys, these ironing freaks are craaaaazy. one guy somehow attached himself, an ironing board, shirt, and iron to the back of a Volkswagen and was ironing... mid traffic! i think it was someplace in england, those crazy brit bastards. others demonstrated their talents on cliff edges and other XTREME locales.
we drove back in complete and total silence, which was great, because i dont know about you guys, but mike's voice has that annoying grating quality and i just cant take too much of it.
thus were our travels in the berkshires and now both mike & jess are back in ithaca. when are you guys coming back??!!!! (seriously, i can't take too much more of mike)
option b) we went to eat Chinese food at mike's favorite Chinese restaurant. mike "accidently" ordered enough food for sixteen footballers and it came on one of the trays with the fire! also, mike gave me his car for christmas so now when we drive back and forth to school, i'll be behind the wheel and he'll be riding shoddy.
option a) we went to a small movie theater with limited options and ended up in Syriana- big mistake. dont do it. it's hours and hours of unending boredom and a small child dies. trust me, i emerged with naught but a sore ass and a desire to strangle mike.
option d) we went on a roadtrip to the holyoke mall, a 45 minute drive away. this is when things start to get really Xtreme. let me just note that while mike did not want to use the mall map to find our stores of choice, it only took me 30 seconds in front of the damn thing to find everything we ever wanted to know.
first, we ate at pizzeria uno. inside this fine establishment is a bathroom treasure. they are the proud owners of not just an air hand-dryer, but the ultimate hand-dryer. it's a little beaut called the XTREME and there's even a tiny sticker requesting the user to "FEEL THE POWER". well, i've felt the power and it almost blew my rings right off- i suggest you try it.
we ventured into the local barnes & noble (it has an escalator!!!) and meandered around the books about nude women and art slash erotica. mike bought a calendar of XTREME Ironists from around the world and i got one about italy (booooooring). seriously, guys, these ironing freaks are craaaaazy. one guy somehow attached himself, an ironing board, shirt, and iron to the back of a Volkswagen and was ironing... mid traffic! i think it was someplace in england, those crazy brit bastards. others demonstrated their talents on cliff edges and other XTREME locales.
we drove back in complete and total silence, which was great, because i dont know about you guys, but mike's voice has that annoying grating quality and i just cant take too much of it.
thus were our travels in the berkshires and now both mike & jess are back in ithaca. when are you guys coming back??!!!! (seriously, i can't take too much more of mike)
posted by Anonymous at 2:50 PM
1 Comments:
Jess fear not for I shall return tomorrow, which is monday, and save you from mike, or perhaps mike from you or maybe me from both of you or maybe both of you from a giant speckled artichoke, who knows.
ps this is scott i cant remember my password
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